I AM MY OWN EXORCIST....

and I, have to be. cuz, when those demons try to take hold, it is almost always at 5 am.

It is a wicked pattern that has started, me,waking in a hot cold sweat at 5am.

The demons, the fears and worries all ganging up on me as I slip from sleep to wakefulness...I am so unprepared and so defenseless and they slip in and overwhelm my minimal defenses.

I have started a practice of calling them out before I start the long process of hunting for sleep. I tell the frustrations , sadness and worry to come out and show themselves...thus I can confront them. It is the same old story....financial fear, emotional insecurities and concerns about the future....and I call them out and they come out and I do my best to quell and then I go to sleep. But, they return when my defenses are down.

I am my own exorcist, I have to be. I cannot get anybody else to do this work.

I can barely afford to pay the mortgage and weekly groceries, who can i expect to take this on?

So, I have decided to write them out of my life...so here goes, I will get up each morning and attack them right back. But, I am going PUBLIC with my side of the story. I will make it a street (internet superhighway) brawl.

to be continued...