I wrote an ebook, a guide to what I know best, film production. I wrote it on my laptop, I stewed and braised over it all and finally finished it. I am constantly thinking of things I think I did wrong and want to fix, but I resist the urge.
I must not sabatouge myself.
The desire for failure is strong...the desire to not put it out there , not to be judged, not to have mistakes made public, theory is so private.... the desire to not succeed...hard to resist.
I am fighting it, but some days I do better than others. It seems so much easier to be a victim of time, work or just to let it die...
I am close, so close...and yet the desire for failure is strong.
It takes an act of will to go forward. I have this suspicion that if I can do this, I can move ahead, but I have to take responsibility.
Ouch, there it is.
