Spin the Bottle, bottle that spin.....

I am a freelancer, looking for work.

I make no bones about it, even while working, I am thinking of where and when the next job will come....

I am a friendly, professional stalker of executive producers and company owners......steadfast, orderly, polite and constant, I email, text, call, meet, greet and stay in touch. I am experienced, funny, responsible, good natured, professional and innovative at my work...all good things.

But, it is all a game of chance....chemistry....hoping that the stars align in my favor, first that my first missive is received and remembered, then that I wear the right shoes and say the right things...then that somebody else says something kind, and hopefully true about me...then that they put me on hold, book the job and it all goes well. Usually, those who work with me call me again to the task....but, not always. Each time, spin that bottle again, and see who and where it points.

I feel embattled and bitter this week.....so much emailing, calling and greeting......so little return this week.

I spun and spun and spun and it all pointed nowhere...or seemingly so.

I remind myself it is not personal...just a game of chance and timing...not (directly) about me...but, it just does not feel that way. I am constantly thinking, how do I package and re-package myself? How to I make the me of it all more appealing, more productive and more wanted...for the work, that is.

I want to be invited to the party....that is my mantra of freelance life....whether or not I actually attend, that is the part I like to think I have the control over....but I crave that invitation...that spin resulting in the right combination of time and timing,

My time, my timing.

My time, my timing...which all feels out of sync right now....how do I re-jig the puzzle, re-assemble the pieces and re-serve the dish....how do I set my timing back onto the path of productivity and success?