Order, from Chaos......

I am not a neat person....actually, I am a slob.

I have long ago come to terms with this...and I am sorry to report, that despite my admission, I am the cleanest, neatest person in my family/household.

I live with a husband (also a freelancer) , a 10 year old, two dogs and a cat who is allergic to her own fur and dander....needless to say, the SWIFFER gets a lot of work done in our humble abode.

I admit openly that I am a slob, but in my various vocations as freelance producer, author, mother and human being...i embrace my slobliness and work with it.

I recognize other slobs (no judgement) and constantly check out ow they keep it all in check. We all have our systems!. I try to assist my co-slobs in organizing (family, co-workers, etc) the little things, in the hopes that it will clear the clutter and give us all breathing room...but I am not too successful at it.

To this end, I am starting to understand why I like cleaning the kitchen. It goes against all of my slob tendencies....but, I find making order out of chaos, fulfilling.

I guess it is something about the lack of control in life....the feeling that all around me, I am attempting to wrench the river of my life and can only re direct a drop of water at any given moment But, I can take those awful, dirty messy bowls and pans, get them into order and wipe the counters clean.

It all feels good....not the actual tidying up part, I just turn up the radio or my audio book and suck it up... but the accomplishing something part. Even though I know that I will destroy the the peace at the next meal......it is weirdly satisfying..some kind of domestic crazy, sickness thing.

See, I tell myself, I can wrench a river, well maybe I can only wrench a few drops....but that is part of the river...right??

Instead of the gaping holes of looking for work, parenting an unruly 10 year old and navigating the ever tricker world of production.....this actually gets done, finito...maybe not for too long, but for a moment, I have made order out life's chaos...imposed my template on an un-knowable situation, mastered my universe (kitchen), tamed the beast and any other cliche you care to insert.

Hmmm, I am eyeing that basket of mismatched socks now.....

Sick....